Parent-Teacher Conferences
Was the news from your last partent-teacher conference a mixture of pleasant and unpleasant? Wondering what to do?
Here's advice from veteran teachers, Sue Schlingman at Washington Core Knowledge Elementary and Bill Ernest at Wellington Junior High School.
The Team Approach
A team approach with teacher, parents and student working together is needed. The older the student the more major role he/she must assume. Whatever the age, however, think in terms of parental support, not rescue. Let your child take responsibility or suffer suitable consequences.
The Elementary Years
- For younger children, teacher comments on behavior, social-emotional responses and work skills are significant factors, causing success or failure.
- Look at the school day situation by situation. The younger the child, the more immediate the necessary consequence and reward. Have a school/home plan.
- Is your child not completing assignments at school? Recess time migh need to be utilized. Remaining work can be brought home and supervised. Curtail privileges until assignments are completed. Don't just take your child's word that the work has been finished; ask to see it. Go over mistakes.
Assessing The Problem
Sue says each child is born with his/her own developmental time line. All aren't ready for the same tasks at the same age. Early academic problems can also indicate a learning disability or weak skill area. Talk with the teacher.
A resource person or specialist can help assess the problem and make suggestions. There are many options such as: a special program; individualized assignments to accommodate needs; tutoring or a compensation plan that makes allowances for developmental difficulties, for example -- answering test
questions verbally instead of reading and writing them.
- Is your child suffering from emotional stress at school? A lack of self-confidence or self-esteem may be the reason. Think of ways your child can have success. Help cultivate an interest or talent. Let him/her share a hobby.
- Are social relationships difficult? Invite a friend selected by your child over to play or schedule an outing to make the social occasion easier. Discuss your child's day and role-play ways he/she could have responded.
The Adolecent Years
Both teachers stress that a lack of organization can bring academic problems. Left unaddressed, this is compounded in junior high where a student has seven or eight teachers with separate expectations and rules. Drastic parental measures may cause resentment with your adolescent.
- Agree on a personal contract that includes well-defined goals, responsibilities,
privileges, extra curricular activities (an important incentive at this age) and consequences. Name specific actions needed to pull up that English grade and keep those privileges -- don't settle for a lame -- "I'll try harder".
- Together set a regular routine for study that doesn't vary. This eliminates a confrontational scenario between parents and student. Bill recommends using a kitchen-timer drill daily with a teenager to
get him/her started. Set timer for 10 minutes; have student go through each school period, discussing what happened and assignments. This short-term discussion will appeal more than an open-ended one. Go over finished work.
- Help organize a home desk, school notebooks, backpacks, and even school
desks and lockers, if necessary. Organizational skills should become a habit.
As new behavioral patterns replace old ones, stretch out extrinsic rewardsto encourage intrinsic ones. With older student, ease off from daily check-in.
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Pam Wynne Fellers is a local free-lance writer and mother. This
informaton originally ran in the Parent to Parent column she writes for
The Coloradoan, a daily Fort Collins, CO newspaper.
Parent To Parent: Parent-Teacher Conferences / EpiTwo@aol.com